Intentional Relationships

Note: I cannot take credit for coming up with all of this on my own. Much of it comes from Catalyst 2008 notes and from reading what others have already written. It is a lesson I put together for the Home Group leaders at my church, but thought those who read this blog might also be interested in the material.

George Gallup said: “Americans are among the loneliest people in the world.”
We have busy, overcommitted lives and schedules. We live and work around lots of people, but somehow most Americans miss out on MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS.

God didn’t intend for us to be alone. In the Garden of Eden, God made Eve for Adam because he was lonely. Each of us is wired differently as to our need to be around other people, but all of us as humans need some form of meaningful connection with others.


John 17:11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one.

Jesus is praying here his last prayer before being arrested. He has come to the end of His ministry as a human here on earth and like many he is focused in on what is most important as he faces the end of His human life. Note that he prays, “So that they may be one as we are one.” He is talking about his disciples! The guys he has been hanging out with for the previous three years. He is talking about the guys who couldn’t stay up praying with him. He is talking about the guys who never seemed to get it. Yet his prayer for them is that they will be one. He wants our relationship with each other to be close like the relationship Jesus shares with God and the Holy Spirit! That is pretty close!

John Ortberg said: “In community – the divine community especially—a heart comes alive.” Jesus was praying that his disciples would experience this kind of life giving divine community that makes our hearts come alive. This kind of community can only come from God himself!

You might be thinking, ((Yeah, of course Jesus prayed for his disciples. They lived with him for three years.)) But notice that he wasn’t just praying for them. Look down to verses 20-21 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father just as you are in me and I am in you.”

We are those people he was praying for! We are believing in Jesus because one of the disciples told someone about Him, and then that person told someone else….
I want to share a bit of questionable history, but it makes a point. How many of you have heard of Edward Kimball? What about Billy Graham?
• Sunday School teacher Edward Kimball helped lead Dwight L. Moody to Christ;
• J. Wilbur Chapman was converted at a Dwight L. Moody evangelistic meeting;
• Billy Sunday was converted at a Chapman meeting;
• Mordecai Ham was converted at Billy Sunday meeting;
• and Billy Graham was converted at a Ham meeting.

Why in a lesson on Intentional Relationships am I talking about the history of people who got saved? Each of these people was a link in a chain in the world of ministry. Each of us, through our Home TEAMs and other relationships has a chance to affect people’s lives. We may or may not see the end results of the affect our relationships have on those people. Edward Kimball was long dead before the first Billy Graham crusade was held.
When Jesus continues in verse 21 “May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” Our relationships with God and with each other show a watching world about Jesus’ ministry. “He is saying that the credibility of His life and message in the eyes of unbelievers is dependent on the way we as His followers relate to one another.” (Andy Stanley) Loving one another is Jesus’ command to us. He also says in John 13:35 “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
We have an awesome opportunity through our Home TEAMs to share that love and relationship with the people in our groups. We also as a group of leaders have the opportunity to share meaningful relationships with each other. However, it is a weighty issue! Do you see how high the stakes are? Do you see why we can not settle for anything less than Jesus’ dream for community? The integrity and credibility of His Gospel is at stake!
Our job as Home TEAM leaders is to create communities that are “so satisfying, so unique, and so compelling that they create a thirst in a watching world!”(Andy Stanley)
Get into groups of 4-6 people.
Questions for small groups:
1. What roles have meaningful relationships played in your faith journey?
2. Identify a time when you felt isolated from others. What kept you in isolation?
3. What distracts you from connecting well now?
4. How can you begin to create opportunities in your current context for people to connect meaningfully?